The Undercovercabby

Don't walk away

A while ago I attended a hastily organised appointment close to where I live. As we all shuffled into place I took a close look at the assembled people (all women) sitting in front of me. The room wasn’t big enough for all of us and I began to let my mind wander, I felt a little disconnected like things were happening to me without any effort or steer. I felt drunk almost, I looked at the people sitting in a line in front of me and I felt like the floor could creak and give way, sending us all into the depths below. Oblivion, falling into the abyss, what is that famous quote ? ‘If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you’. I was actually thinking about Neitzsche whilst these people were wondering how to start.

Someone coughed and the largish woman sitting directly in front of me began to speak in that all too familiar way, thank you for coming blah blah, how are you feeling ? blah blah. Then something woke me up with a start, like the snap of a hypnotists fingers she said the words “affective dysregulation” which in layman’s terms means emotional instability. ‘Are you listening ? the largish woman asked, ‘I’m thinking’ I answered, ‘do you know what a personality disorder is ?’ She replied. ‘I should do, it fits me like a glove love’.

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